Other people are mirrors of ourselves

“We can only see things in others that we see within ourselves”.

What comes up for you when you read this?

Do you find it confronting or challenging?

Do you find yourself wanting to resist it?

Or maybe it rings somewhat true to you, but it's mixed with feelings of confusion.

I think this is one of the most challenging spiritual lessons we are here to learn.

Realising that all you see in others is just you and your perception of yourself - what you consciously or subconsciously think about yourself .

All the good things that you see in others,

and the shit you blame them for- IT’S ALL YOU

At first it might be a bit of an annoying slap in the face … We all love to think about ourselves so highly, and believe we are just perfect and the others are simply not..

But actually pointing fingers outwards is a very disempowering technique. When we give our power to others, we stay in victim mode .

That’s why I believe owning your own shit is so powerful. When you admit to yourself :

“ I am in this situation, it means I created it somehow and there is something for me to learn here “, you can start seeing the truth and make beneficial and needed changes.

“Your perception of me, is a reflection of you.

My reaction to you is an awareness of me.”

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We come to understand ourselves best through our relationships with other people. One finger is pointing at another person, and three are pointing back to ourselves.

When certain characteristics in someone’s personality or behavior trigger a negative reaction from you, there is something within you that is coming up because it is ready to be healed. Usually, it represents issues from your past that have gone unresolved.

When triggered, we receive an opportunity to heal those small or bigger wounds or through patterns we hold for years. It would be a shame to miss those opportunities.

So when somebody treats you badly (the boss, lover, person on the street) ask yourself :

"What is this person showing me about my own beliefs about myself? "

Do I believe I am unlovable? Do I believe I don’t deserve to have my needs met? Maybe I believe there is sth wrong with me. Maybe in my childhood I didn’t receive love from my caregivers?

If you feel jealous or start gossiping about somebody else, ask yourself a question :

Why do I think I am not worthy of having things this person has, why do I think they are better than me and so I try to bring them down?

Here is another example: You are someone who has a constant need to prove to others that you are “right.” Chances are you will attract people who strongly disagree with you because they also have the need to convince others to see life from their perspective. Also, if you dislike controlling people, most likely you dislike some bossy tendencies within yourself.

The people with whom you interact are showing you who you are and ultimately providing you with an opportunity to love yourself. Since our path to healing is to discover what we don’t love about ourselves and learn to love it, the people who get on our nerves the most are among our greatest teachers.

When you find yourself triggered by a person or situation, ask yourself the following questions:

-“What is this person teaching me that I need to learn to become more whole?”

-“When do I behave exactly like this person?”

-“Did I behave like this in the past?”

-“Which old wound this person is triggering in me? Is it the one of not being loved, seen, taken care etc. by my caregivers ?

-“When do I treat myself exactly like this person is treating me? For example: when do I judge, hate, criticise myself ?

It’s really annoying in the beginning to admit that we are the ones that have to do the work, and not the others, but it is the fastest way to happiness and fulfilment. And it's really worth it.

So good luck with facing your own shadows .

Remember to do it with love and acceptance. Where you are at this very moment is perfect.

You are perfect!